CRR THE STRESS

The last two weeks have been far from easy for me. I have been under so much stress due to ALL these class assignments we have been given. In English, its hard as hell to understand this stupid book, and then being in the honors class makes it worse, because its filled with a bunch of judgemental ballsacks that look at you like you have three heads if you dont understand something. Imagine how it is in math. I worked REALLY hard to get into the honors class this year and I feel like a fish out of water when theres new material. People automatically assume I'm smart (Or so I've been told) and I just look at them and think can I just be average? The answser is HELL NO. Colleges dont want average, they want outstanding. I spend every waking moment of my free time trying to get things done for these two classes and college.

I miss one day a week of english. Thats a blessing because i dont have to think  at work, I can just count; it is a stressor because sometimes the material that she gives is REALLY complicated. like the last grammar rule, 13; I asked for help twice and the teacher looked at me like i was crazy. I got sooo mad. I dont understand it, what the hell do you want me to do?! Ive found myself having to google the homework because she doesnt explain it thoroughly enough, and for those of us who miss class, yes we have the responsibility, but having that stupid little paper that says "Not ____, but ____" DOES NOT FREAKING HELP !

FC - moving my car

My father usually takes the car to work, so moving it was never an issue, but now that hes gone to Dominican Republic, its driing me crazy! Everyday I come home, and i have to grab the keys out of the bowl, and go move the car. Being that its so cold, I have to wait for the car to warm up, in order to save the transmission. (my father is very adamant about that). Then driving around in circles to find a spot that is big enough, isnt next to a fire hydrant, and still allows me to follow the Alternate Side of The street parking rules, because 'They are in effect citywide", goodness i hate hearing that. Which is why I dont drive to school, I'll never find any parking. One of these days I might, because it is just TOO cold to be walking. This is ridiculous how cold it is, going from 50 degrees to 10, okay im babbling.

Feb 12 ID

I am an intern at the Capital One Bank branch at Thurgood Marshall Acadmy. As an intern for this bank, I have many responsibilities and that need to be taken care of. It is very difficult sometimes becuse there are a lot of little details that need to be remembered when following procedures for certain events. Everything has to be done in a chronological order and althought doiong them everyday can make this easy to remember, if we miss a step, our boss makes it very hard to forget. Working at a bank at such a young age really is an amazing opportunity. At 17, we had more experience in the field than most grown men and women these days.

CRR - Standstill

So for a few days most classes have been at a standstill, nothing has been taught, and no one is really paying attention to the enviromnemt and how its changing. Waiting for the break is the hardest thing ever. And then theres Finals on top of that. What are we to do? This is all important, but still not something that we look forward to. (yes, I'm Babbling, I know). Other than taking or preparing for exams, nothing really happens in our classes. Why? Because everyone's fed up with this school year already.

ID - Pre Calulus

I take Pre Calc with Ms. Rios and the Honors class. Initially, I wasn't supposed to be in the class due to my performance in 10th grade. I brought my grades back up last year when I did my absolute best in most of my classes. Some teachers I just didnt get along with. Anyway,  this year I made it into Pre Calc, and being that I didnt take Honors Trig last year, I had the absolute hardest time trying to keep up. At first i thought i was dumb, but then i realized that I just wasnt trying hard enough. I was expecting it to come easily to me, the way trig did last year. So when the end of the semester came rolling around, I was terrfied. I thought i was going to fail that midterm, so i studied as much as i could and just hoped for the best. When i saw my score, I did a little dance because i was so proud of myself. I got a 90, and i know thats not passing with flying colors, but i can say my colors were floating, or gliding even.

Pre Calc is hard, no questions asked. But I'm ready for the second semester. I'm also ready for the math im going to take in college. Ms. Rios is a great teacher, and something she told me will stick with me for the rest of my education career, "If they try to throw you in a math class lower than your level, dont take the easy way out, you change that class, cus you're smarter than that and you shouldn't deal with that crap!"

CRR - Watership Down

So in my government class with Ms. Horne, we watched a movie about rabbits called Watership Down. It was about a bunch of rabbits who were looking for a home. Seems simple right ? Uh, NO. That was the most complicated movie I have ever watched. Half the time I had no idea about what was going on. The events in the movie were occurring so quickly that we had to watch the movie about 3 times to understand bits and pieces of it. Yes, 3 times.

We were then assigned a project to do. We had to create a leadership book about the movie. Basically we had to answer questions given to us, and make a book out of them. That task is actually harder than it sounds. Even though I saw the movie 3 times, I still found myself researching answers to the questions. I had no clue half of those things even happened in the movie. Anyway, that wasn't the hardest part. It was actually illustrating the book. I tried to get every detail right and I'm no artist, so that was super difficult for me. And then we have to color it too ! I haven't had this much work to do since I started senior year. My college applications were simpler than this project. Thankfully, I'm almost done, all I have left to do is color my drawings. and paste the last two answers into the book. Unfortunately, I don't have a printer or color pencils at home. If I don't get this in by 4th period on Tuesday, I'm screwed. Anyway. I'm working on it.

Free Choice -

I have no idea what to write. Im on the phone with my sister, and she's telling me about her home situations and how she's unhappy. Its crazy to think of how many issues people can have without anyone knowing about it. No two poeple can be compared because no two poeple come from the same walks of life.  I know i cant fix anyone else's problems, i cant shelter all the homeless, i cant feed all the hungry. 

but i need to fix my own issues, and right now, that issue is my confidence. I know im not the best looking person in the world, and no, i dont need anyone telling me that im Princess Diana, but I wish I had the confidence she did.